Conversations With My Daughter #41

May 2013

Alice has found her “rule whistle”. I am trying to keep up with writing down her rules as she shouts them out while she stamps around the room:

*peeep!*
First, melon rules: First, go to the melon stall where there are two samosas – one meaty one and one veggie one!

*peeep!*
All the rules are by the policeman!

*peeep!*
They’re all getting all of the plays!

*peeep!*
I am the rules of the policeman and I phone the police!

*peeep!*
They always have, and they’re always mine!

*peeep!*

Grrr! Now they’re all gonna behave…!

*peeep!*
All the rules are having but not the policeman!

*peeep!*
Now they’re all gonna shake, shake, shake!

*peeep!*
I’m not dancing!
girl in the chair of the boss warning
*peeep!*
You’re not allowed to eat sweeties!

*peeep!*
They are made, but not made for the army!

*peeep!*
You can’t do, or go near Mummy’s office!

*peeep!*
I am long!

*peeep!*
You don’t like ginger!

*peeep!*
I am paid and mad!

*peeep!*
You can’t have the pips!

*peeep!*
You have to shout out your name in my song!

*peeep!*
You can’t be a butterfly like me!

*peeep!*
You’re allowed to eat healthy food, but not ginger, because you don’t like ginger, Daddy!

*peeep!*
You can’t jump high. YOU! CAAAAN’T! Jump high, Daddy!

*peeep!*
Bonjour, bonjour, au revoir, merci, bum!

*peeep!*
Stick your leg out, now run really short, now jump to the side!

*peeep!*
I am sick, you are not, you say mick!

*peeep!*
I like people, I am strong!

*peeep!*
I am push, twist, jump – that’s the action of my song!

*peeep!*
Hello, you’re going to blame, I’m going to game. This is the rule. I am calling police!

*peeep!*
“Hi, police? I have the rules. Can you show up so I can give you the rules. OK-love-you-bye.”

*peeep!*
Um… the whistle had a rope but now it’s gone. Yeah, I’ve finished all rules. All rules gone now. Did you hear me?

[Leaving the room, muttering]: “That means I’m going into the stable and doing a wee!”

[From down the corridor]: “Police! Hello! Police? I am doing a weeeee!!”

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