Sarah was downstairs. I only have myself to blame…
A: Daddy? DAAADDEEEE?
Me: What is it? I’m on the loo!
A: “Can I come in?”
Me: No. Really don’t.
A: “I’m looking for the new Doctor Who”
[Door rattles. Did I lock the door? Aw FUCKSTICKS! Not again…!]
Me: No! Wait…!
A: “What are you doing?”
Me: Well what do you think I’m doing?? More to the point, what are you doing?!
A [as if talking to a small child]: “I’m looking for Doctor Who, Daddy!”
Me: Well, he’s not likely to be in here is he?
A: “Can I check?”
Me: No you can’t.
A: “Can I look in the toilet?”
Me: Absolutely not. HHHEEEELLPPPP!!!
Sarah [downstairs]: “What is it?”
Me: Can you please summon her? She’s bothering me!
Sarah: “Alice! Downstairs now!”
A: “But I keep hearing some strange noises…!”
Me: For God’s sake, it’s only me on the toilet, child!