Conversations With My Daughter #52

December 2013

Alice is sometimes very funny, but her own jokes that she makes up are rubbish.

I was on the receiving end of this the other day.

All. The. Way. Round. The. Supermarket.

“What do you get when you cross a cow with a human?”
I don’t know, Alice. What do you get when you cross a cow with a human?
“A mooman! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!”

“What did the unicorn say to the other unicorn?”
I don’t know.
“You’re a unicorn! HAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“Why is the moon round?”
Are you asking a scientific question, or is this a joke?
“It’s a joke!”
OK, I don’t know. Why is the moon round?
“Because it’s a giant pea in the sky!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!”

“Knock knock!”
Who’s there
“A man”
A man who?
“There’s a man at the door!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“What do you get if you cross a horse with a lady?”
A hot centaur.
“NO DADDY, you’re supposed to say ‘I don’t know!’ ”
Oh, right. I don’t know.
“A lady horse! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!”

“What do you call a bird with no wings?”
I give up.
“A wingless bird! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!”

“Why does a phone go *ring-ring*?”
Don’t care.
“Because it’s giving you two wedding rings!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!”

“Knock knock”
Who’s there?
“A spider”
A spider who?
“Spiders can’t knock on doors, silly! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!”

And so on…

"Hey, seriously now, the thing about freebasing..."
“Hey, seriously now, the thing about freebasing…”
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