Conversations With My Daughter #73

June 2015

The other morning I awoke Alice at 7:40am as usual. Alice has taken to cocooning herself in her duvet these days, even during humid evenings, so I’m often greeted with the sight of a mound of duvet with a tuft of hair sticking out.

Morning Alice!




Come on, Al. I know you’re awake.


Aaaaaaliiiiiice. Wakey-wakey.


Alice, it’s time to get up. Mummy’s making breakfast.


Alice Phnut I’m asking you to get out of bed…


Up. Now.

“–muffled groan–”

Come on, Al. You have an appointment with the dentist today…

[Alice erupts from the duvet, eyes wide open, with both arms raised aloft]


My daughter, ladies and gentlemen. The only child on Earth who greets the news of a dental visit with the same enthusiasm as a trip to Legoland.

“Hoo-fuckin’-rah! It’s the Dentist! Open up and say YAAAAY!!”

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