Conversations With My Daughter #74

July 2015

Alice has finished having Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets read to her as a bedtime story. As a result, I’ve promised she can watch the film later on this evening.
Hence, she is now screaming “HARRY POTTER AND THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS!!!” at the top of her voice, over and over again. She hasn’t let up for the last five minutes. On the other hand, I’ve had a great idea for an avant-garde piece of music.

Aaaaand now she’s singing the theme tune, but being six and not quite of perfect pitch, she’s got the melody slightly wrong, and it sounds like the theme to Schindler’s List. Points scored for spotting the same composer, just slightly different melodic treatment. Hmmmm. Maybe I should show her Schindler’s List instead, but tell her it’s the next Harry Potter movie? It’ll put her off Harry Potter for life, which I don’t want. But it could also put her off liking Nazis for life, which I do want very much. Decisions, decisions…

Also, she’s lost one of her top front teeth, which makes her look reeeeeaaallly cute at the moment, and she’s lisping slightly, which is even cuter.

If I’m not careful enough, that girl is going to win me over every time she really wants something. I fear she already knows this. These days, when she wants something that she knows she’s got only a small chance of getting, but she knows she might be able to wheedle it out of me (sweets, treats, television or laptop at non-screen time, an Xbox for Christmas, etc), she has taken to cocking her head to one side, gives me the full Big-Eyes-And-Gappy-Teeth combo, and says “pleeeeeeease?”. It’s like hypnosis on me, and I think she knows I might be a complete sucker for it. One day it will work, I’ll give in, and then everything will be ruined for me, and I’ll never have power again.


"All right, YES, you can have an inflatable unicorn car. Yes, you can drive it on the roads. No, you don't need a licence." "THANKS DADDY!" "...oh FUCK, what have I just agreed to??!"
“All right, YES, you can have an inflatable unicorn car. Yes, you can drive it on the roads. No, you don’t need a licence.”
“THANKS DADDY!” [runs out of the room]
“…oh FUCK, what have I just agreed to??!”

Not today though. Each outburst of excitement is coupled with her sucking any excess saliva through her teeth. So at the moment I’m writing this, she’s shouting “DO I LOOK LIKE…sssshhhhrrrrccchhh!… HERMIONE, DADDY? ssssshhhhrrrccccchh…!” at me.



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