Dear Alice,
There are some things all people should experience in a lifetime. I have often wondered what I wish for you, my noble daughter, to experience in your long and interesting life. And if I’m brutally honest with myself, there are some things I wouldn’t want to wish on you at all. Let’s face it, I instinctively want you to have nice things, and to be protected from the nasty things.
But maybe the nice things are not what really builds us. Not all of the things we experience are pleasant. But our lives are made richer by the wide variety of things we encounter. The good gives us pleasure, the bad makes us stronger, wiser, and teaches us what to avoid, and what to endure. You need to have these experiences to know what they feel like. And remember, that if any of the experiences you have in life feel painful or strange or are just too darn confusing, you can always talk to me. I’m here to support you. Always.
So here is a list of the type of experiences both Mummy and I want you to have. Let’s hope you become a wiser, fuller, richer, more deeply depthful person as a result. And yes, depthful is a word.
Lots of love
Daddy x
(that’s ‘Daddy’ with a kiss, my name is not Daddy X, but I suppose that would be a cool nickname)
1. Be in a car crash – not a serious car accident, but a minor prang
2. Learn a musical instrument and stick with it. Of course it’s going to be difficult, but work at it and trust me, you will one day make an event brilliant with your musical skills
3. Have an argument
4. Win an argument
5. Learn to argue effectively
6. Hate someone
7. Get totally shitfaced – just do it safely
8. Stay up all night
9. Go on a diet
10. Break the diet
11. Tell someone to fuck off
12. Forgive
13. Get punched – Not too hard, and I fervently hope not by someone you love, otherwise I’ll be getting all punchy-punchy as well
14. Get ill – Not too ill, please, and allow yourself time to recover
15. Go to A & E in a city hospital on a Saturday night, preferably accompanying somebody else who has only minor injuries
16. Be badly behaved – Just not with me, OK?
17. Obey rules
18. Break some rules
19. Tell an adult off to the point where they break down
20. Embark on an enterprise or project that has a likelihood to fail
Embarking on this project could result in either you being successful, but looking like an unbearable smug prick…
21. Swim in a river or lake – Though please be careful
22. Get properly lost, providing you then find your way back
23. Go on holiday in your native country
24. Do the tourist bus in your local city
25. Be humiliated
26. Recover from being humiliated as quickly as possible
27. Be in charge of something – a project, a job, a creative group, a team – but don’t be an arsehole
28. Have revenge on someone
29. Do nothing for a whole day, and don’t feel guilty about it
30. Be really miserable, but make it brief
31. Fall in love – You’d be amazed how many people have never fallen in love
32. Get dumped and have your heart broken
33. Be honest
34. Have a shit Christmas
35. Go out and look for wildlife
36. Break a bone – restrict it to arms or legs only though. Maybe a rib.
37. Tell your friends some deep personal secrets. Hopefully it will lead to better friends
38. Take a walk in a forest in all seasons
39. Look at a mountain – Fuck, they’re great, aren’t they?
40. Go abroad
41. Get rained on
42. Allow one of your opinions to be changed by an argument
43. Persuade someone else to change their opinion on something fundamental
44. Have a really crap relationship with a complete loser, but make it brief
45. Lose someone close to you, awful though it will be, but learning to cope with grief is an essential lesson. Let’s hope it’s not either Mummy or me, although let’s be honest, I won’t be around for it to bother me all that much
46. Take time off
47. Experience what it’s like to have no money at all, but make it brief
48. Watch a film you previously really liked, but realise and accept that it sucks
49. Have a deep interest or hobby that other people would find baffling
50. Allow yourself to be bored
51. Do something drastic with your hair
52. Have someone insult you to the point where it makes you cry, and never let it happen again
53. Be naked in the open air
54. Be naked with someone else
55. Compromise, but do so without losing your integrity
56. Receive applause
57. Do something that frightens you
58. Go to a religious gathering
59. Get angry
60. Refuse to do something
61. Miss out on one amazing experience that all of your friends take part in
62. Be unemployed, but make it brief
63. Go out at an ungodly hour just to listen to the dawn chorus
64. Allow yourself to be pretentious every so often – Some people make far too much fuss about pretentiousness as though it’s on a par with National Socialism, but these people are idiots: Being pretentious doesn’t hurt anyone
65. Annoy someone
66. Watch music being performed live
67. Enjoy the feeling of coming home
68. Confront a bully
69. Be overwhelmed
70. Leave a good party early
71. Stay at a crap party for longer than you really want to
72. Stand up in front of a crowd of people and talk to them
73. Be willing to apologise
74. Refuse to apologise to someone
75. Tell somebody that they are completely bang out of order
76. Experience loneliness
77. Cry at music
78. Cry at a film
79. Stand your ground
80. Have a massive lie-in and don’t feel guilty about it
81. Perform something in public that you wrote – A song, a play, a poem, a dance routine
82. Do something that is utterly selfish
83. Take responsibility for something that went wrong (or, indeed, went right)
84. Spill something
85. Do a competitive sport
86. Fall out with someone
87. Make a conscious decision to repair a broken friendship
88. Use a washing machine – OK, it’s not the greatest of life’s rich pageant of experiences, but a) I’m glad my daughter lives in an era where washing machines are common and affordable; and b) I’d far rather you experience washing clothes in a machine, than washing clothes by hand
89. Not care about something
90. Make a huge mistake (providing it does not hurt or kill someone)
91. Do something silly
92. Be part of the winning team, either as supporter or player
93. Be part of the losing team, either as supporter or player
94. Stand in a group of at least 200 people all singing together
95. Take part in a political protest
96. Vote
97. Laugh so hard you can hardly breathe
98. Cook a meal for friends
99. Make yourself something that you can use every day
100. Help a stranger for no reason other than the fact that you would want help in their shoes
101. Move out of this house and into your own place
Daddy Burns the Salad 
Absolutely genius idea, great post, some very funny (and scary) suggestions!
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Love it. Brought back some happy memories reading through it.
Worryingly, the only one I don’t think I can tick off is getting punched, in which case I hope this isn’t a blueprint for life or I’ll spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder!?!
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[…] context: I wrote a piece entitled 101 Experiences I Want My Daughter To Have and tagged in The Dad Website via Twitter. Soon after, I received an email from their editor, […]
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